Welcome to Colorado

Posted: July 16, 2014 in Uncategorized

As many people have heard, there is a wacky state called Colorado that has legalized marijuana. Wow! That’s really strange and unusual, because I remember being worried about the assistant principal catching us back when I was maybe smoking a thing about which I am cleverly cagey. Did I say ‘us’? I mean, er, someone else. The bad kids. Who definitely were not me.

Since I aspire to be a journalist, i.e. someone who is paid money to write stuff, I decided to do the thing that all the other journalist kids these days are doing. Which is to say, going to the Colorado, consuming the marijuana, and then writing a story about how weird and amazing / horrifying it all is.

On a surprisingly non-snowy afternoon, I went to a local “Safeway” to see what sort of products they had to sell. I went into their brightly-lit store with its tiled floors and was amazed at the variety of food and non-food products they sold. Food! In bags! Some of it not in bags. Some of it not food! And such variety — they even sell cookies, but I heard a bad thing happened once to a person who ate a cookie, so I passed. Eventually, I selected some “Firey Hot Cheetos” and paid for them using a fascinating machine that actually lets you scan your groceries yourself. Amazing what new future experiences are occurring here!

Then afterward I went to a weed store and bought some weed.

When I got back to my hotel room, I proceeded to eat the marijuana. It was crunchy, and the leafy bits got stuck in my teeth. Otherwise nothing much happened. I spent the rest of the evening eating Cheetos and idly browsing the Internet.

In conclusion, wow! Colorado is totally, like, far out, and I am hip with its far-outness!


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